On Saturday I drank more than a liter of orange juice, some of it with vodka, most of it without. On Sunday we toured the kibbutz juice factory, I frolicked atop a 16 ton pile of citrus fruit, and drank more orange juice.
Today and Monday sucked ass, tomorrow I am getting on a jet plane and coming home for ten days!
I live in a house on a utopian juice kibbutz with 19 other people at least as strange as I am, I dont go to school, and I spend two days a week in Palestine. Can someone answer me what the hell is going on with my life? Its been three months and I am still fucking confused.
you're living. for once. you're making your own choices. and learning that sometimes things are easier when other people choose for you. like when you knew you had to wake up and go to school. But the question is, is it worth it. Is it fulfilling? This isnt somethign you can necessarily answer now. but you'll never know if you dont expereince things, and live. and either one day you'll think, "wow, what a mindblowing year. i broke out of the shell and lived", or you wont. in which case, its a year, and you;ll probably have 85 or 90 more of them in life.
freedom is confusion. there are no answers. so shnat wont give you any. but it will expand your mind. it will push you, and test you, and throw you aside when it wants to, but you'll stand up stronger, and better. and you'll have the rest of your life to fit into societies molds if you want. college will wait for you, your family is still there for you, your friends will be there for you. but you have an amazing opportunity.
just my two cents. ignore if you'd like